Watch your language!
To eliminate “lizard brain” (the emotional hijack caused by stress) avoid asking questions like “Why did you ..??” “WHY can’t you …?” “WHY don’t you …?” “WHY?” not only results in the listener feeling defensive, but also rarely matters when we are looking for solutions to a problem.
A better question effective leaders ask begins with “what” or “how” and helps people think. One example is asked with genuine curiosity (remember to manage your frustration first) … “What did you hope would happen by doing XYZ?”
Then, if you want people to trust you, shut up and listen.
To get the other 20 Ways to Eliminate Leadership Stress for You AND Your Team, click the link below to register for a free webinar:
Stress causes more than just physical symptoms. Did you know stress in the workplace erodes trust, productivity and creativity of you and your team?
Discover 21 Ways to Eliminate Stress to be able to do your best work, feel happier and more satisfied at the end of the day (and help your team do so, too!)
Who was your favorite boss, coach or teacher? Your tough situation that turned out to be your greatest inspiration? I’ll bet you could tell some stories … well, here’s mine from a recent post I wrote for Leaders at The LeadChange Group Blog:
Some of the most powerful leadership lessons I’ve experienced have not come from my high school swim coach, my first inspirational boss or any leadership guru at all. One of the first teachers of my most powerful lessons in what makes great leaders great weighed in at just over a thousand pounds, had four legs, a tail and really big teeth, which he never brushed.
His name was Banjo and he was a horse … of course, of course.
Early on, I struggled, often for hours, trying to get Banjo into the horse trailer so we could go somewhere, a trail ride, the vet or moving from California to Colorado. I would start out calmly, then as he got more stubborn, putting two front feet in then flying out backwards as fast as he could run, I would get frustrated, then angry and then … well, let’s just say I tried all the tricks in the book; coercion, threats, intimidation, pressure and yes, pain. Do these old-style management tactics sound familiar?
An old, scruffy, wise cowboy helped me see the writing in the dirt. After working with Banjo for just a few minutes, then loading him easily several times, he politely tipped his hat to me and said, “Excuse me ma’am. If I can say … what you have here is not a loading problem, it’s a leading problem.”
What you have here is not a loading problem, it’s a leading problem.
A brutal a blow to my “know it all” ego, but he was right. Horses are prey animals and herd animals, who follow trustworthy leaders instinctively. I was not a trustworthy leader in Banjo’s eyes. Being a predator, we were already at odds. Trailers are caves. What lives in caves? Bears, cougars and other predators who eat horses. I was an angry predator to Banjo, with unpredictable emotions and not an ounce of empathy to try to see the world through his eyes.
From that moment on, the lesson “You can judge the quality of your communication by the response you get” became crystal clear. It was my responsibility to take 100% ownership in the quality of my communication … and ask for a “do -over.”
Lucky for me horses are very forgiving creatures … and in my eyes, the most powerful teachers I could ever ask for.
Who have been your most unlikely, yet powerful teachers?[sharebox4 sharetext=”Share This Page”] [/sharebox4]
“What Got You Here Won’t Get You There …” Marshall Goldsmith, Executive Coach to the Top Fortune 50 Companies says the technical knowledge, bottom line focus and sometimes ruthless strategies that got you promoted to Senior Leader level WON’T guarantee success in your new position, and most likely WON’T get you promoted to the next level.
In fact, the communication, relationship (yes, I said relationship) and interpersonal leadership skills to successfully motivate your team and to build an exceptional company that you need to excel here or there is another skill set entirely.
While Emotional and Social Intelligence are the key ingredients of outstanding CEO’s, odds are your MBA program or weekend Leadership Training won’t give you the depth and breadth you need to go beyond “knowing” the skills to “doing” and “being” a Sustainable Leader who is built to last from the inside out.
Do you want develop your skill set to harness your potential to drive positive change in yourself and others? Join me for a free webinar/teleseminar Thursday, April 7th to learn the key ingredients for Sustainable Leaders. http://tiny.cc/slmastermindcall
Feel free to invite a colleague, direct report or peer who you feel will benefit, too! Click this link http://tiny.cc/slmastermindcall to receive call in information now. Space is limited!
Leaders: Spring into ACTION and start by developing your personal leadership plan
Keys to Success for Leaders Who Last http://tiny.cc/slmastermindcall
I look forward to sharing the Keys to Sustainable Leaders with you next week!